Stop Self-Harming: How to Build a Life That Reflects Your True Value

The unfortunate truth is that much of the hurt we feel comes from within. We put ourselves in difficult situations or take on less than we deserve, and that’s where the pain begins. Self-harm isn’t always an outward act, but rather the result of a series of bad decisions and beliefs that we allow to influence our lives.

We start hurting ourselves when we allow ourselves to be on the sidelines in other people’s lives, while making them the center of our own. This unbalanced distribution of relationships drains our energy and leaves us feeling frustrated. Healthy relationships require a balance of giving and appreciation, and when that isn’t achieved, we lose a part of ourselves in our attempts to please others.

We also accept self-harm when we settle for less than we deserve in any aspect of our lives. Whether it’s work, relationships, or opportunities, diminishing our worth is something we do to ourselves when we don’t demand what we deserve. Self-esteem begins with a deep belief that you deserve the best, and that striving for that best isn’t selfishness but rather a fundamental right.

We hurt ourselves when we lie to others because this behavior makes us doubt the honesty of others as well. When we are dishonest, it becomes difficult for us to trust others, which creates doubt and reinforces mistrust in relationships. Honesty is the foundation for building trust, whether with others or with ourselves.

Hatred towards others is a burden we carry, not them. Feelings of hatred do not affect the person we hate, but they weigh us down. Getting rid of these feelings gives us inner freedom and allows us to focus on what is more important in our lives.

Fear of taking risks is one of the most prominent forms of self-harm. When we fear change and choose to stay in our comfort zone, we deprive ourselves of opportunities that could change our lives for the better. Taking calculated risks is an essential part of personal and professional growth.

Fear of what people say or think is a chain we put around our necks ourselves. We cannot control what others say, but we can control our reactions. Living according to others’ expectations only leads to frustration; so it is better to build our lives based on our own values ​​and goals.

When we base our self-confidence on the opinions of others, we place our happiness in their hands. True confidence must come from within, from our awareness of our abilities and value regardless of others’ assessments. This inner awareness enhances our independence and gives us the strength to face challenges with determination.

Realizing that self-harm comes from within is the first step towards change. Building a healthy life begins with changing these wrong thoughts and decisions. When we realize that we deserve the best, invest in relationships that enhance our value, and take risks that lead us towards growth, we will find that life becomes more in line with our true goals.

Mr. Rami Makki
Business Consultant